It doesn't matter!

Life is made up of years that mean nothing and moments that mean it all.

Then why do I regret the past?

You're born, you die, and in between you make a lot of mistakes.

There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.

The why I'm I so afraid to make one?

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Then why do I feel like I haven't changed?

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

The greatest risk in life is not taking one.

Then why won't I jump?

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or if you fat or thin. its not about the color of your skin or where you live or go to school.

In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. its not about who wins the super bowl or who wins American idol. Life just isn't about that....

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. In life God doesn't give you the people you want, instead He gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you, and make you exactly the way you should be. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. The times in life, that seems to be the worst, always turn out for the best! It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever...

You only live once, so do everything twice.....

Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about. I don't want to be the person that when I'm looking back at my life when I die and be regretting everything I did. I want to be saying "I'm glad I took that risk... I'm glad I made that mistake... I'm glad I jumped"

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had...



In my life, I meet people. Some I never think about again. Some, I wonder what happened to them. And then there are some that I wonder if they ever think about me. And then there are some I wish I never had to think about again. But I do.



No Turning Back

Dressed in my disguising costume, trying to decide if I should turn back or resume

Creeping and sneaking down the hallway of black

I thought to myself “How can I do such a thing?”

But then came the vivid memory of the violent smack

And as I held up the knife with the rush feeling of attack

I knew there was no turning back

Thoughts of my childhood, my dad as he stood

Then from within came the fear that there was no fighting back

He would angrily twist the whip, obviously drunk

Then the awful feeling of the very painful crack

And as I thrust the knife downward in attack

I knew there was no turning back

The blood was dark red as it seeped and stained the bed

I pushed and shoved the body to the floor with a big clack

And watched as his corpse lay there breathing no more air

I fled from the house slamming the door with a smack

This crime was horrible but would relief me from the dreadful flashback

And I knew there was no turning back

1. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear

Fear.....

I'm afraid of letting you go
Knowing I have to, but don't want to
Knowing next time I see you
I wont be able to talk to you...

I'm afraid of fake
Of being called fake
Fake people with fake personalities
Fake smiles, fake faces...

I'm afraid of people
Of peoples thoughts...

I'm afraid of being alone
Living alone, dying alone
Sitting there at the end
And regretting my life...

I'm afraid of letting you go
Knowing I have to, but don't want to
Knowing I'm not met to be with you
But want to be...

I'm afraid of giving my love away
Of giving something
That has been broken so many times...

I'm afraid of settling
Ending up in a divorce of two
I don't want to end up like her
I don't want to end up alone...

I'm afraid of losing someone I love
Or never meeting the person
I'm suppose to love
Or losing my opportunity...

I'm afraid of letting you go
Knowing I need to
but I'm not going to...

Because my worst fear is living with out you...

Best friends...

Remember when we went to lunch everyday for two years, 

You never complained how much it was.

Remember when you taught me how to ride a skateboard the very first night we met

I ran over your foot and all you did was laugh.

Remember when we went to that hunted house you build with your dad

I held your arm through out the whole night and you let me...

Remember when I got sick because we went on the spinning ride over and over again

I threw up the rest of the night and you sat there comforting me

Remember when we would watch movies on your couch, you tried to kiss me but I told you no

You smiled at me and said "I'll wait"

Remember when you would ask me to hang every night and I always said I was to busy

But you kept asking....

Remember when I told you I liked other guy who was a jerk

You warned me but I didn't listen

Remember when I cried in your arms because he hurt me 

You told me you wanted to kill him

Remember when you told me you loved me, I told you I wasn't ready to love you back

And so you waited until was...

Remember when you liked that girl and I told you I didn't think she was right for you

And so you ended it with her.

Remember when you asked me to write you 

Because you had to go away for two years 

Remember I cried in your car because I knew I would miss you.

I remember that day I realized I was in love with my best friend... 

I'm thinking about you love....

I'm thinking about you like a fat boy thinks about candy. 

Like peanut butter thinks about jelly.

I'm thinking about you like clocks think about time. 

Like the sunrise thinks about never seeing the sunset.

Like a bee thinks about flowers. 

I'm thinking about you like hands think about holding. 

Like cold feet think about cuddling on a cold day. 

I'm thinking about you when its raining all day... 

I'm thinking about you like dark thinks about light. 

Like day thinks about night. 

I'm thinking about you like scary stories think about late night campfires. 

Like girls think about love and boys think about love... games! 

I'm thinking about you like children think about the future.

Like adults think about the past. 

I'm thinking about you everywhere, anywhere. 

Your always there....in my head.. 

I miss you... 

I miss you like pictures miss the memories they hold. 

Like pillows miss pillow fights. 

I miss you like warm body's miss steamy backseats of the car. 

Like parks miss small family picnics.

Like the sun miss the moon when its not there.

I miss you... and I hope you miss me to.

I'm thinking about you love...